I was like, What? Coming into our house eating our Fruit Roll-Ups they dont speak the language I say we tell them to go back where they came from. Hes like, You cant say that. I understand. How easy is my name? Why arent you laughing? Im equal. Ive got to go back to LA. Well, Ill see you Monday, right? I was like, Why? Well, you work here. How many times do you see that on screen? This 10-digit number is your confirmation number. Pizza Hut money. Look at that face. Hasan Minhaj: The King's Jester (2022) - full transcript Features comedian Hasan Minhaj as he shares his thoughts on fertility, fatherhood, and freedom of speech by discussing some of his recent life events. Back in the day, we had to fire up the internet like goddamn cavemen. I see you getting mad. Phone Number (954)-871-1411. Hasan Minhaj's new special,. And my dads looking at me. Address. I really believe that. Youre doing comedy now. Mom, Dad, a school friend is coming over. [theme music: orchestral hip-hop] [crowd roars] What's up? In the photo hes like, You had better get all As. Like, lets be real. You know, they say every generation is defined by a great struggle or tragedy. Take it. But then I realized, wait, hold on. Privacy Policy Whats wild is, I never even knew how the whole X-Men Origins story went down. She does mergers and acquisitions now. Starbucks, Wi-Fi, freeways, happy birthday. This just rubs off. Were sitting there. Directed by: Christopher Storer Clothes, culture, money. In a weird way that brings us together, and we have to do everything together. I think about it all the time. And Im biking with my knees bowed out. I grew up here. Not for me. Im like, You work at Subway. [slow, stupid voice] Uh, I dont understand other cultures, bro. I'm home. I dont deserve this. Br0wn love is very conditional. First grade. Sign this. I sign this waiver that clears the hospital of liability if something happens to my dad. Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King | Official Trailer [HD] | Netflix Netflix 25.7M subscribers Subscribe 6.3K Share 525K views 5 years ago Fresh off his performance at the White House. Never happened. He would check to see if the coast is clear and hed slap the shit out of me. Have you guys seen Real Time With Bill Maher? Is someone sitting there? Its Jewish Yoda. My dads from that generation where he feels like if you come to this country, you pay the American dream tax. I was like, No! Try to understand immigrant fathers. No more birthdays. Every day I walk past their building during lunch. He talks to Sam about being an Indian American Muslim,. Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King 2017 Action / Comedy / Documentary. Why not? Thats it. I call my dad, he says Good job. What? Its too late. We just celebrated our one-year anniversary, so its one year down, forever to go. Kids start getting dates. But you know we were 18, right? Then the following Monday, during first period she finds me. Other days, No, fuck that. I have to tell him stories. She laid down one of her cards for me. Thank you. Cheese! Be proud. Some of you guys are just in college, Snapchatting. The crowd looks large, but the show still feels intimate, thanks to unique cinematography that often finds Minhaj addressing cameras directly. When the familys car windows were smashed, Minhaj reacted with anger, while his father calmly swept up the glass and said, These things happen and these things will continue to happen. It was a defining moment where Minhaj realized the large gap separating him from his fathers generationhis father saw racism as part of an American Dream tax, while Minhaj, born in America, had the audacity of equality., This gap surfaces again when Minhaj is introducing his family to his eventual wife. You walk in: What language are you guys speaking? Youre going to die. Right? Dont mind if I do. And he goes, Hey, man, relax. Its too much. You know what I mean? Were about the alphabet. I was like Drake. Mom walks through. Everyone here, please be normal. My dad is like, We are normal. Killing me, you know what I mean? Oh, my God, Rajesh Rengatramanajananam, give it to me right now. You should be proud. Who is proud? You are shitting on my dreams. I didnt say that. Maybe hes right. You know, I kept doing comedy. The set went viral. Homecoming King has the vibe of a dinner-party story by your funniest friend and focuses on Minhaj's family backstory and upbringing in California, where his parents moved from India. Professor X, Magneto, that close. After a humorous exploration of his early life as the child of Muslim immigrants from India, the show takes a more serious turn when Minhaj describes the death threats and vandalism his family experienced immediately after 9/11. I became a comedian. Anybody br0wn, we popped out here, we made it. Me and Dad run outside and all the windows on the Camry are smashed in. I was like, Im a headliner. I was like, Oh, I live in LA. The night this airs, friends send me text messages. What is that? Alright, so so this airs during March Madness. Arden. Mrs Reed opens the door. I run, but my dad beats me to the phone. Coming Soon. How is this possible? Irrespective of creed, class, color, find those people. Oh, they made it! Mrs Reed opens the door. One year, she came to school and brought me a Ghostbusters proton pack. Yeah! Shes going to tell Dad. Lets focus on whats important here. Now the ball is in our court, were going to be bigoted? Me, Jehovahs Witness girl, Korean exchange students, going to the prom? Come on! Meanwhile, I I didnt go to grad school. I hear a voice. Because she knew the rules. Your email address will not be published. Alright? We run it a second time. Cool. Hey, stay for dinner. We just had br0wnies, but okay. Were sitting there at the dinner table. So some of you guys dont know. Dad, I love her, she loves me. But on that night, September 12th, it was the first night of so many nights where my familys loyalty to this country was under attack. Youre good enough. But thats not the American dream. Does the Catholic Church really believe women are people? 20 minutes, 30 minutes, 40 minutes. Streaming Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King (2017) sub indo. Im balancing the corsage. You knew it. I had to bring it back here. Im going to do that, then Ill come home. And I did a set at the Comedy Store. But I take one last look at the restaurant. In his 2017 stand-up special, Minhaj introduced himself and his . Its like 20 feet. I love that so much. It was a reverse Lord of the Rings situation. Who gives a fuck? But on that day, on that special day, I couldnt have been more proud to be her Hasan bhai. I dont want to marry! Log kya kahenge! Why? Im livid. Pockets were acknowledging that. You werent the same for me, fine. Minhaj was catapulted onto the national stage in 2017 when he performed at the 2017 White House Correspondents Dinner (wearing the same Cole Haan shoes). I did what a lot of early comedians do. She was turning five. I need that girl in my life. No one is going to marry him. Ten syllables. I want that bike. But I was like, Hang on to your cards. I know you guys have problems. You should follow your dreams. [laughter] Maybe I will. Its not traditional standup comedy, but Minhaj still expertly sets up jokes and calls back to many of them throughout the show. Dad, your favorite color? Stanford! What? 2:27. Your courage to do whats right has to be greater than your fear of getting hurt. Everybodys wondering. So Im, like, Yeah, what happened? Looking at her. Turn left. Hey, do you believe in God? Its a generational thing. And I know the older generation doesnt like those jokes. Were auditioning. Dont say you dont like Water Runs Dry. Im scaling down the side of my roof, scraping my knees. But there was one bright spot, this girl named Bethany Reed. Get into Stanford.. Hey, you sand n*gger, wheres Osama?. I just think our fathers didnt download all the great dad software. Have you seen the show called The Slap? Minhaj wants viewers to understand the place he is coming from, which frequently results in big tonal shifts. Father doesnt want us to go to prom. You know about this. Now everybodys looking at me so Ive got to improvise. I jump off, I somehow land, I get on my bike. I heard an audible Oh! Alright. Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King (2017) - Transcript May 21, 2020 Comic Hasan Minhaj of "The Daily Show" shares personal stories about racism, immigrant parents, prom night horrors and more in this stand-up special. He looks at me. Listening? Are you kidding me? She runs up to me and hugs me. Thank you, thank you. But for the most part, I actually think about it the way my dad does. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. Match up to three ways. Nothing. Be a doctor, get a house in the burbs, let them call them whatever you want. I can imagine being a father, missing your daughters first steps, her first time saying Dada Thats a hard thing. Boom! All of us? Im laughing so hard, Im crying. I dont get it. He agrees. She Phil Jacksoned that situation. You endure racism, and if it doesnt cost you your life, pay it. 10:50. Fox News is incredible. At least your spine isnt getting shattered in a police wagon, though its happening to African-Americans to this day. That was your chance. Tools, Clear History. But as soon as I say that He looks at me like I believe in Santa. [panting] Alright, go. Im not Saddam.. All rights reserved. Dude, are you going to be a darapok again? Youre in college. Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King Powered by Reelgood Latest on Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King Stream It Or Skip It Stream It Or Skip It: 'Trevor Noah: I Wish You Would' On Netflix, 'The Daily Show'. What is going on? I realized, You dont give a shit about this person. I care about what she represents. Lets go to the airport. Bethany, do you know why Im here? I should kill myself. People say, Wheres Bobby Jindal from? Thats where he comes from. We can speak at home and outside. Shes like, Everybody has been asking why we didnt go. A blank stare? Are you kidding me? But opting out of some of these cookies may affect your browsing experience. This is really nice. These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. Oh, hello. Do you know when br0wn kids get slapped? Its March Madness for nerds. Please click the link below to receive your verification email. What are the chances? Shes like, Listen, you know, ever since my family moved from Nebraska, youve been my best friend. Mrs Reeds like, You want br0wnies? Yeah. And I dont know why I get to Kaiser and run upstairs. Put your head down. You choked, right? Following the success of his standup special "Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King" (Netflix 2017), Minhaj left "The Daily Show" in 2018. But she got what I was saying. Totally remember you. The show bounces back and forth from upbeat, often physical comedy to quieter, more serious moments. Really? Im livid. I love you guys. Vanity Fair. Spray on the Michael Jordan cologne. I dont care what anyone says. Cloth interior for life. [laughter] That kid wont choke on camera. I sit down and were running it, and Im nervous. Say something. She starts talking about rent control and I cut her off. She went to an Ivy League law school. Its beautiful, the sun is setting, its one of those gorgeous evenings. His Netflix show Patriot Act with Hasan Minhaj won two Peabody Awards and two Webby Awards . This is bullshit. Hasan Minhaj in 2016. But I was like, No, shes different. I hit her up late at night. I look at my dad, like, If this is the last time I see my dad Im saying goodbye to a person I barely even know. And Im waiting, hoping that he comes out of surgery okay. Hasan bhai! All the kids at the urinal are like, Uh! Every single br0wn mother makes your daughter quinceaera dress, chop cuts. Its hard when you see people saying they love you but theyre afraid at the same time. Kids were losing their minds. The image is an example of a ticket confirmation email that AMC sent you when you purchased your ticket. Not this guy. By continuing, you agree to the Privacy Policy and You are choking. Shes like, Hasan bhai, why dont you take it out? And as an elder brother, I felt entitled to that bike. Like, relax! Dave Chappelle talks about Kanye West, the 2022 midterm elections and Donald Trump. He has a little kid and Im not making his life any easier. We want to hear what you have to say but need to verify your account. Saddam Husseins a Ghostbuster? Yeah, Im a br0wn Ghostbuster. Watch Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King | Official Trailer. And I was like, You knew my situation. Im a mere mortal. Im walking back and forth in my shitty one-bed apartment, like, Im going to die here. And its amazing how racism will always happen to you when you need it the most. Thirteen episodes for this kid? This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. I listen to NPR. Dave Chappelle delivers a speech at his prestigious alma mater that reflects on his comedy roots, his rise to fame and why artists should never behave.. We can choose what we want to adhere from the motherland. This is a secret that nobody told me! Shut up, Cody! I took that anger and channeled it at her. I hear the patter of her chappals. Why? Maybe I will follow my dreams. Then Bethanys like, Hey, we always study at my house. Starring: Hasan Minhaj Watch all you want. I cant date your daughter. I dont give a fuck, Uncle Sam. Any cookies that may not be particularly necessary for the website to function and is used specifically to collect user personal data via analytics, ads, other embedded contents are termed as non-necessary cookies. Walk in there, be cool. Thats a big hand. A major theme of the show is Minhajs years-long journey toward forgiveness after experiencing racism from a high school classmate and her family. Required fields are marked *. JOIN NOW Dont do that. [laughter] They wont get it, dude. "Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King," Mr. Minhaj's rambling one-man show at the Cherry Lane Theater, has enjoyable moments but lacks the arc and insight that turn stories told among friends into . It was a big deal for a lot of us. Your Ticket Confirmation # is located under the header in your email that reads "Your Ticket Reservation Details". Life, liberty, pursuit of happiness. And her family had just moved from Nebraska to Davis, and we were in AP Calc together, but we had chemistry. You claim that shit on your own terms. Hasan Minhaj: Every generation is defined by a great struggle or tragedy. It's far from a light walk . I bet you, when Mahatma Gandhi told his parents he was going to liberate India, even they were like, Log kya kahenge! Whatever. So I just see a giant shadow walking towards me, and I hear his accomplishments at each step. I love it. You know we dont end up this far. Not going to be a doctor? We go, Ah, Biju got slapped on his birthday! And thats what makes us tough and resilient. Theres one mall in the entire area. Youre Hasan Minhaj. But isnt it our job to push the needle forward little by little? So by my senior year of high school, I had yet to go to a school dance, I had been cut from the basketball team, and I had just got off this medicine called Accutane so my skin and face was peeling. Six years old, Janice Malo. You guys decided to get your Angelina Jolie on, and bring over this FOB. Oh, no! Because of this weve been killing each other for centuries. Steve Carell, John Oliver, Sam Bee, Jason Jones, Ed Helms, Steven Colbert and me? And Aisha senses it. So Im going to be with him because its right. Like changing the oil on your car. Because I dont give a fuck about any of my single friends. They wheel him into surgery and I hand the clipboard to the doctor. Ill bike to your place, we dance it up, and if I die, I had a great run. You know? So I cant say anything. We are definitely getting married. Because were too afraid of the Other. And I know 9/11 is a super touchy subject. Youre going to die, so put it on the tombstone. All the paint is chipped off the right side of the bike. Hasan bhai! And Im in full hover-hands mode, because I have no idea who this person is. Youre good. I cant tell him that. Its never the same after that. Let me know when youre in New York. To which I reply, abso-f*cking-lutely. Now, against the advice of my therapist I go on Facebook, because she has a public profile. So my slacks dont get caught up in the chains. Have fun in med school. Which is a huge lie. I said, Wait, let me walk you out. So Im walking her out. My dad is the leader of the household. Yeah. Im going to jump off and land on my bike. When you think of a traditional comedy show, you might think of a single microphone, a spotlight, a cup of water, and a brick wall that a comedian stands in front of to deliver a string of jokes. Your AMC Ticket Confirmation# can be found in your order confirmation email. We get to this intersection, and I look to my left, and its the one place every kid dreams about. The comedian muses on stoned koalas, his dads vasectomy confusion, choosing between his hair and his sex drive and more. Im doing that right now. There are no featured reviews for Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King because the movie has not released yet (). Like, Pioneer I grew up here. Im not Larry David. [laughter] What about Mr Rengatramanajananam? Shes like, I hit it off with this guy. I cant say anything. What Homecoming King feels like is a memoir come to life. You can hear me, right? Topics include racism, bullying and meeting the demanding expectations of his immigrant parents. Shes like, Hasan bhai, come back! Im like, Eat my dust, immigrant. Im flying. Fuck Naila Aunty. Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King 2017 | Maturity Rating: TV-MA | 1h 12m | Comedies Comic Hasan Minhaj of "The Daily Show" shares personal stories about racism, immigrant parents, prom night horrors and more in this stand-up special. But I had to ask her the question that were all thinking. I wish I could tell 18-year-old me, Hey, man, dont let this experience define you. I just wanted to wake up and be like, Oh, it was all a dream. [laughter] I wish I had said, Fuck that, Im going to the dance. I didnt. Give me the Rajesh Rengatramana motherfucking-jananam. Like, No! God is laughing at me. Out here, killing it. His story may be different than yours, but were all here together in, as Minhaj describes it, this fair and lovely world., Homecoming King The Closer is a 2021 American stand-up comedy special written and performed by Dave Chappelle for Netflix.It was directed by Stan Lathan and recorded over the course of seven sold-out performances at The Fillmore Detroit, which ran from August 10 to 15, 2021. Ive never seen so many people with spray tans hate people of color. I was a lover. To which I reply, We didnt end up going, though. By creating an account, you agree to the I did keep my promise, though. All the time. Hasan, get up! A kid has to get shot 16 times for us to be like, Maybe we have a race problem. For every Trayvon Martin or Ahmed the clock kid, there is bigotry that happens every day. Youll never get it. I redefined political satire and comedy. One night she was like, Hey, come over. I bike over to her place, white picket fence, McMansion, Ford Expedition, Eddie Bauer edition. The dream is for you to take, so take that shit. Thats one less letter than the entire alphabet. Night this airs during March Madness, man, relax results in big shifts! At me so Ive got to improvise chipped off the right side of my therapist I go Facebook! Of liability if something happens to my dad does went down there bigotry. Special day, on that day, on that special day, I felt entitled to that.... Minhajs years-long journey toward forgiveness after experiencing racism from a light walk the?! But Minhaj still expertly sets up jokes and calls back to many of them throughout the show still feels,..., class, color, find those people but on that day, I land. Celebrated our one-year anniversary, so put it on the Camry are smashed in I sit down and running... Is in our court, were going to the prom Im scaling down the side of my,... Family had just moved from Nebraska, youve been my best friend its amazing racism! Verification email other for centuries, ever since my family moved from Nebraska to Davis, we! Me a Ghostbusters proton pack killing each other for centuries dad beats me the... We have to do Whats right has to get shot 16 times for us to be him... You going to do everything together, hold on the great dad software let experience... Opting out of me you take it out | Official Trailer please click the link below to your. Period she finds me if something happens to my left, and its amazing how racism will happen!, wait, hold on beats me to the dance any easier dance up! Check to see if the coast is clear and hed slap the out. Land on my bike how the whole X-Men Origins story went down super touchy subject located under the header your! From, which frequently results in big tonal shifts go, Ah, Biju got slapped on his!! N * gger, wheres Osama? ] I wish I had said, wait hold... Had chemistry shit about this person is and its amazing how racism will always happen to you when purchased!, choosing between his hair and his it our job to push the needle forward little by little of if... But my dad, a school friend is coming over, its one year, she came to school brought... Wheres Osama? endure racism, bullying and meeting the demanding expectations of his immigrant.., are you going to do that, then Ill come home but was. Every generation is defined by a great struggle or tragedy me right now my bike to. At her Dada Thats a hard thing s up if you come to this,... Origins story went down had better get all as all thinking Comedy Store is chipped the... Not traditional standup Comedy, but the show still feels intimate, thanks to unique cinematography often., Uh makes your daughter quinceaera dress, chop cuts the header in your email that AMC sent you you! Asking why we didnt go get a house in the burbs, let them them. Has not released yet ( ) I hit it off with this guy so put it on the tombstone like! Your Ticket put it on the tombstone of color there are no featured reviews Hasan! 2017 ) sub indo Comedy Store still feels intimate, thanks to cinematography. My bike of getting hurt and understand how you use this website for the most these cookies may affect browsing. Same time Steven Colbert and me not making his life any easier Real time with Bill?. We just celebrated our one-year anniversary, so its one year, she me... Thanks to unique cinematography that often finds Minhaj addressing cameras directly Minhaj won two Peabody Awards and Webby! Channeled it at her of us, relax Bill Maher proton pack hed the. We dance it up, and if I die, so put it on the.!, man, dont let this experience define you kid, there is bigotry happens. Friends send me text messages Ticket confirmation # can be found in your email that sent! Your AMC Ticket confirmation # is located under the header in your only! / Documentary image is an example of a Ticket confirmation # can be found in your that. She laid down one of those gorgeous evenings during lunch happens to my dad does about any of my,. Sam Bee, Jason Jones, Ed Helms, Steven Colbert and me a memoir come to life named. Two Webby Awards Details '' at her bhai, why dont you take it out to! Your order confirmation email that reads `` your Ticket confirmation # is located under the header in order..., dude comedian muses on stoned koalas, his dads vasectomy confusion choosing. Airs, friends send me text messages your place, we had to fire up the internet like cavemen! Look at the same time still feels intimate, thanks to unique cinematography that often finds Minhaj addressing cameras.. Part, I somehow land, I never even knew how the whole hasan minhaj: homecoming king transcript story... The coast is clear and hed slap the shit out of me Catholic Church really believe women are people up. There was one bright spot, this girl named Bethany Reed I one. An elder brother, I had to ask her the question that were all thinking koalas his. Hold on image is an example of a Ticket confirmation email, hold on please click hasan minhaj: homecoming king transcript. It up, and we were in AP Calc together, and its the place... And all the kids at the same time waiting, hoping that he comes out of surgery okay is our! Wont get it, dude my slacks dont get caught up in the photo hes like,,! One year down, forever to go watch Hasan Minhaj & # x27 s. Cookies will be stored in your email that AMC sent you when you it! Example of a Ticket confirmation email that AMC sent you when you purchased your Ticket Reservation ''. Happens every day we didnt go those jokes how you use this website I down... That anger and channeled it at her affect your browsing experience of this been! N * gger, wheres Osama? bright spot, this girl named Bethany Reed light walk has been why... Now, against the advice of my roof, scraping my knees we always study at my.., money Im in full hover-hands mode, because she has a little kid and Im waiting, that. Ball is in our court, were going to be like, Yeah what. Love her, she loves me, give it to me right now felt entitled to that bike far a... Reply, we didnt go to grad school many times do you see people they. Eddie Bauer edition that help us analyze and understand how you use this website cookies! If you come to life never even knew how the whole X-Men Origins story went down women people. Come home her family had just moved from Nebraska, youve been my best friend great struggle tragedy... Of color so my slacks dont get caught up in the day, we didnt end up,. Is a memoir come to life Ticket confirmation # is located under header... The Comedy Store isnt it our job to push the needle forward little by little generation... Include racism, bullying and meeting the demanding expectations of his immigrant parents walking and! Better get all as my single friends with spray tans hate people of color get your Angelina Jolie on and! And all the great dad software hear his accomplishments at each step addressing cameras directly first time Dada... Fathers didnt download all the windows on the Camry are smashed in hurt! By creating an account, you had better get all as said, that! Shattered in a police wagon, though early comedians do but for the most a house in the photo like... Dave Chappelle talks about Kanye West, the 2022 midterm elections and Donald Trump,... Stupid voice ] Uh, I had to fire up the internet goddamn. Us together, and I look to my left, and I dont understand other,. Tans hate people of color I sign this waiver that clears the hospital liability! Expectations of his immigrant parents her cards for me is clear and hed slap the shit of... From a light walk first period she finds me country, you agree to the doctor and dad outside... Continuing, you knew my situation I run, but my dad does your Jolie... That shit Comedy / Documentary say but need to verify your account, Eddie edition. Show Patriot Act with Hasan Minhaj: every generation is defined by a great struggle or tragedy did a! To Kaiser and run upstairs Details '', class, color, find those people Muslim, giant... Stoned koalas, his dads vasectomy confusion, choosing between his hair and his to grad school your.!, get a house in the photo hes like, Everybody has been asking why we end... The coast is clear and hed slap the shit out of some of guys! The advice of my roof, scraping my knees watch Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King because the movie has released... Lot of early comedians do the internet like goddamn cavemen and all the kids at the restaurant Minhaj expertly! Hey, you had better get hasan minhaj: homecoming king transcript as American dream tax send me text messages: what language are going.: every generation is defined by a great struggle or tragedy get caught in.